KADEEM, 25, WATERBURY, CT
Gender Projected
Where are you from? Where do you live now? Have you ever lived anywhere else?
Waterbury, CT; Bridgeport, CT; El Paso, Texas.
How old are you?
25
How would you identify your gender?
Male.
How did find out about the project and why did you want to be involved?
I found out from my friend Brian, and I wanted to be involved because I am a supporter of gender equality. More people need to see different genders, and this is a project that will help do that.
What presentation made you feel most like yourself? Why?
Definitely the masculine version because I am used to wearing those clothes and identify more with the masculine side.
What presentation made you feel least like yourself? Why?
The feminine version. I enjoy women's clothing, but I probably wouldn’t dress in it all the time.
What presentation would you be afraid to wear on the street where you live now (if any?) Why?
The feminine version. I live in a pretty urban area so I could get either get assaulted or pimped out.
What was something you did during this project that you had never done before? How did that make you feel?
Posing with women clothes but not identifying as a women. It made me feel proud because I believe this is an important project, and I’m glad to be a part of it.
How do you generally present?
My style is very preppy and tight, but not too feminine anymore - more urban. What is H&M? That is my style.
Do you pay attention to how easy or hard it is to look the way you do?
I used to. When I was younger, I would second guess myself a lot. I would say, “This is too girly” because I didn’t want to get that much attention.
In your life, was there another time you explored/experimented with gender identity/expression? If so, what type of experience was it?
Yes. I did drag for a whole summer when I was 22. That was awesome. I want to get into it again.
What part of your body did you feel most insecure about during the process? Was there a certain presentation you felt uncomfortable wearing because of that?
I didn’t feel like I had enough make up on when doing the feminine presentations, but I was never uncomfortable.
What words do you feel represent your identity?
Confident, beautiful, gay black man.
What do you feel is the aspect of your identity that you think about the most?
My voice because I feel like that gives me away. People make a judgment about me right off the bat--they think “This guy is gay.” That was a lot of my problems when I was younger because I do sound gay. I tried so hard to butch it up, and I’d still be called out. But after a while I gave up on it. Why would I try to keep hiding it?
How do your gender identity and sexuality intersect, if at all? How was that represented/misrepresented in the project?
I don’t think they should intersect, but society thinks they do. If you are a female, you should like men. If you are a male, you should like women. There is no in between, no medium. Gender and sexuality are the same but different. We all have different levels of sexuality. We all have different genders. They overlap and they don’t, and sometimes they clash with each other. It is a big spectrum. Our problem is we try to categorize everything, and I don’t think sexuality or gender should be categorized.
How does your physical fitness or body weight play into your gender identity/expression?
For me, I see somebody as masculine if they have muscles and they are built. I’m not saying you are not masculine if you are not built, but rather if you see somebody that is built, you automatically assume they are masculine.I have gotten a lot more looks now that I have gained more muscle. Now, I can dress however I want, regardless of how feminine it is, and it looks good because I have muscles.