MARCIN, 23, BRIDGEPORT, CT

Where are you from? Where do you live now? Have you ever lived anywhere else?
Augustow, Poland; Bridgeport, CT; and I lived in Stratford for a year.

How old are you?
23

How would you identify your gender?
Male.  

What presentation made you feel most like yourself?  Why?
The one with the button up shirt and shorts and hat--it is something I always dress in. And the guitar reminded me of music and boy scouts and Poland and home.

What presentation made you feel least like yourself? Why?
I think it was pretty myself, except when I wore your clothes. However, behind the clothes it was the same person. It was me.

What was something you did during this project that you had never done before? How did that make you feel?
Put makeup on. But it’s not like I had a lot of makeup where it made me feel feminine. I still felt very masculine.

Did you gain any perspective on gender identity/expression in yourself during the project?Everyone’s identifies as themselves. And everyone does everything in their own flow. I might not like it, but that doesn’t mean I have to do it. I feel comfortable as me.

Did you gain any perspective on gender identity/expression in other people during the project?
I am used to men feminizing because I have been in gay clubs and gay bars and I have seen drag. I’m not close-minded, but men wearing heels is not my preference. It’s not something I would want to show my mom. But I can’t really tell someone not to wear heels because I did it when I was a kid. I have mixed feelings. I’d rather not have my significant other do it, but if it is for performing purposes or art, then it’s okay. But I don’t like when people get judged, and I don’t like when people get bullied. I was bullied because I didn’t speak English when I first came to America, and it didn’t feel good.

In your life, was there another time you explored/experimented with gender identity/expression? If so, what type of experience was it?
When I was a little boy, I painted my nails, and I wore my mom’s clothes. I also did this secretly when I was 12 or 13, but I haven’t lately. I was trying to find myself, and doing that made me feel feminine and beautiful. But I was raised in a very strict house. My mom is open-minded, but my father would scream at me and my brother if we wore a bracelet. He would say, “Take that off. Only girls wear bracelets.”

What keeps you from presenting the way you feel most comfortable if anything?
Acceptance of people. If I wore whatever I want, I might not get a job I want in the future. I might not have an opportunity to build friendships. I want to be approachable.

Are there things you would be more willing to do now after modeling for the project that you wouldn’t have done before?
Probably. It made me more comfortable with myself, with people taking pictures of me and learning about me. I can share myself with others more easily now.

What words do you feel represent your identity?
Gay, cultured, respect, kind, friendly, approachable, happy, hidden.

What parts of your identity are hidden from the photographs?
I don’t always let things out. I’m very reserved. I don’t go to church but I believe in God and the Roman Catholic church. I like to dance, and I’ve been dancing in a Polish dance group since I was a boy.

What do you feel is the most salient aspect of your identity? How do you feel that this part of your identity was represented and/or misrepresented in this project?
Family means everything to me. I was able to show my background with the Polish dance outfit.

What do you feel is the aspect of your identity that you think about the most? How do you feel that this part of your identity was represented and/or misrepresented in this project?
I am open-minded to other people’s lifestyles. Not even talking about gay straight transgender, but I’m talking different cultures. I look at my family and Luis’s family--one Polish and one Hispanic--and there are differences but they are the same. We still share love and would die for one another. Now, it’s 2015, everyone is becoming a lot more open. I have a gay brother who comes home with his fiancee all the time, and my family is accepting. Maybe my mom would rather have us have a wife and kids, but she still accepts us and loves us for who we are. Also, most of my friends are Polish and I always thought they wouldn’t be accepting, so it slapped me in the face at how accepting they were when I came out. It is just fear that holds me back.

Do you have anything else you want to say about your experience with Gender, Projected?
It really brought out what I think about myself, and it made me feel better about the person I am.

What do you want to see happen with Gender, Projected?
I hope everybody does it. You learn so much about yourself and others.